After you have written the first, second, or third draft, there are another set of evaluative questions that you can work through to help you revise your essay.
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Does the opening paragraph grab your attention?
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Is the statement interesting or does it put you to sleep?
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Is it a positive portrayal? Is it upbeat and confident?
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Is it an honest portrayal?
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Have you answered all the questions thoroughly?
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Has anything relevant been omitted? Work or academic experience?
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Does the statement provide insight into your character?
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Is it well-written? Is the grammar, tone, and verb agreement perfect?
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Are there any typos?
For your final draft, be sure to avoid sloppiness, poor English, spelling errors, whining, manufacturing a personality, avoiding the questions that are asked on the application, high school experiences, personal biases about religion, ethnicity, politics, sexist language, revealing of character weaknesses, and arrogance.
The personal statement is extremely important in gaining admittance to graduate and professional schools. Although it can be frustrating to write an original and well-devised statement, through time and drafts it will be written. The ones that are good take time. The ones that are bad can sabotage your chances for success. It is also important that you show your drafts to a Writing Center tutor, your academic advisor, Career Planning advisor, and friends; they will help you write an essay that reveals the right balance of personal and academic characteristics and specifics.
Once you have developed a sense of the faculty's interests and the department's
special features, you can make it clear in your application exactly why you want
to attend that particular school. What is it about the department's curriculum
structure or general approach to the field that makes you interested in being a
student there? Don't waste your valuable essay space, or your reader's valuable
time, telling the reader how wonderful or prestigious their institution is;
people on the admissions committee already know this. They want to know about
you.
Nonetheless, if there are special programs or institutes at the school that seem
appealing to you, briefly mention that you are interested in becoming part of
them. For example, state that you "want to be a member of the XYZ Group for
Blank and Blank Studies because ...", but don't tell them how great, well
respected, and world-renowned this part of the school is.
If, during your research on the department's faculty, a faculty member strikes
you as someone whom you might be interested in working with, indicate this in
your essay; be concise and specific about why you want to work with this person
in particular. A word of caution here: Do not try to use this as a way to
"butter up" the admissions committee, because if there is any reason to believe
that you are not sincere, your application may be adversely affected. Again,
mention the person and how their work relates to your interest, but don't load
this statement with what might be interpreted as false or superfluous praise.
Personal Information
Some applications may ask you to give a personal history, telling about
experiences that you have undergone which have led you to decide to pursue
graduate education in a certain field of study. (If personal information of this
sort is not required, then you are under no obligation to provide it.)
The information that could be included in a personal-type statement is limited
only by your own imagination and life history, but you should be highly
selective about what you include. There are two things to watch out for: (1)
saying too much and/or (2) not saying enough.
Some applicants may ramble on about themselves in a manner that may appear
self-indulgent and not very appealing to the committee. Remember, this is an
application essay, not an autobiography. Conversely, some applicants tend to say
too little, perhaps hesitating to promote themselves too explicitly or not
knowing what about themselves would be interesting to people whom they don't
know. In such cases, perhaps focusing more on what you want to do than on what
you have already done (let your record speak for itself) may help in getting
beyond self-inhibition.
Generally, keep in mind that the points about your life that you highlight
should be somehow relevant to both your own interest in the field of study, as
well as to the concerns of the admissions committee. In judging what information
to include or exclude from your essay, try to balance academic, work-related,
and personal information in a manner appropriate to your situation, goals, and
the application requirements.
Additional Considerations
If you have additional, relevant information about yourself that does not easily
fit into the essay, or into any other section of the university's application,
you may want to include a condensed resume or curriculum vitae with your
application package. This is especially applicable to those who have worked
professionally since having graduated from school. Relevant items here might
include work experience, publications, and presentations, as well as language
and computer skills.
Also, if you have experienced times of great hardship or extenuating
circumstances that have negatively affected your academic performance at any
time, provide a short explanatory statement. This is another one of those places
where caution should be exercised: you want to explain the cause of your poor
grades, etc. without alienating the reader by overdoing it. Once again, be
specific and concise.
Tips for Writing a Personal Essay for Your College Application
Do
start early. Leave plenty
of time to revise, record, and rewrite. You can improve on your presentation.
Do read the directions
carefully. You will want to answer the question as directly as possible, and
you'll want to follow word limits exactly. Express yourself as briefly and as
clearly as you can.
Do tell the truth about
yourself. The admission committee is anonymous to you; you are completely
unknown to it. Even if you run into a committee member in the future, he will
have no way of connecting your essay (out of the thousands he has read) to you.
Do focus on an aspect of
yourself that will show your best side. You might have overcome some adversity,
worked through a difficult project, or profited from a specific incident. A
narrow focus is more interesting than broad-based generalizations.
Do feel comfortable in
expressing anxieties. Everybody has them, and it's good to know that an
applicant can see them and face them.
Do tie yourself to the
college. Be specific about what this particular school can do for you. Your
essay can have different slants for different colleges.
Do speak positively.
Negatives tend to turn people off.
Do write about your greatest
assets and achievements. You should be proud of them!
But...
Don't repeat information
given elsewhere on your application. The committee has already seen it-and it
looks as though you have nothing better to say.
Don't write on general,
impersonal topics-like the nuclear arms race or the importance of good
management in business. The college wants to know about you.
Don't use the personal
statement to excuse your shortcomings. It would give them additional attention.
Don't use cliches.
Don't go to extremes: too
witty, too opinionated, or too "intellectual."
Choosing the essay topic for your personal essay is easy as you are well
familiar with the subject. Here are the most popular personal essay topic
examples:
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Describe Your Grandparents
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My 10-Seconds Car
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The Place I Want to Return
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My Mother’s Hands
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The Movie That Motivates Me
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Me in Ten Years.