Secrets of Personality Development

You may agree or you may not agree with him, you may approve or you may not approve of him, but the basic, vital and indisputable fact is that you just cannot ignore the man of sparkling, dynamic and energetic personality. He stands out head and shoulders above the ordinary and the average. He is a certain force to be reckoned with. When you get to know him you find that you agree with him and approve of him rather than the other way about. Gradually you will find that you are attracted to him more and more. You will find your ideas slowly but surely being influenced by him. The dynamic personality has thus irresistible, magnetic attraction. I never knew a man with such propelling force within him, said the great Winston Churchill of the famous Lloyd George. It was even more true in his own case. The surging power and magnetic pull of Churchill’s personality has now become a legend.

What are the distinctive hall-marks of the vital dynamic personality? One straightaway thinks of the assurance and confidence in the person concerned which shows in his whole demeanor, speech and conduct. He is not mild or diffident. He is assertive without giving offence or causing annoyance. He has a driving force which others envy and many lacks. Its presence or absence makes all the difference between success and its opposite. You will find the dynamic individual to be distinct. He has an individuality of his own. He is not afraid to be himself instead of being a shadow of somebody else. While others do not have definite opinions or would not like to commit them selves, he will have firm views and definite opinions which he will present in a logical, rational and convincing manner. Once it comes to getting something done, he will be the right man to be counted upon.

The driving power of a dominating and forceful personality, more than anything else, springs from enthusiasm. In fact that is the real secret. One can find that any great leader or outstanding personality in industry, politics or scientific research has red hot enthusiasm for some ideas or quest or course of action. Without this he would never be the man he is, or do what he does. Enthusiasm spells the difference at all levels and in all cases. According to Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, “A man who has unlimited enthusiasm can succeed in almost anything”. Enthusiasm brushes the difficulties out of one’s way. It endows the individual with a plus power, for which nothing else can compensate. Enthusiasm is the starting point as it generates interest and sustains it.

The kind of personality that each of us has is determined by many factors. The level of one’s intelligence, one’s physical build up as well as the extent of one’s education and learning are important elements. The strength of our basic emotions like love, anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, etc. and the readiness with which we reveal them are further influencing factors. In brief, personality is nothing but the characteristic way in which a person adjusts himself to the needs of his environment. It is the totality of a person’s qualities as revealed in his response to the various situations presented to him by life. Dr. RH. Thoules refers to personality as the “Whole system of the more or less completely integrated body of tendencies, experience, etc”. One’s personality is, thus, the total impact which one makes on other people.

In your personality build-up the following points merit special consideration.

• Do I know my strong points and do I make full use of them?
• Am I striving to improve upon my weak points?
• Am I fully at ease physically and mentally, without irritating mannerisms or emotional tension?
• Do I feel genuinely happy to be in the company of others.
• Do I feel like helping others rather than making demands on them?
• Have I mastered any feelings of inferiority towards others?
• Do I tackle problems with determination, confidence and method?
• Do I appear cheerful to other people?
• Do I find too many convenient excuses for not doing or postponing thing?

• Do not laugh at others. You can laugh with them when they do something foolish but it is unkind to laugh if they are unable to see the finny side themselves.
• Avoid Sarcasm. It is a mark of low intelligence and a way of denying the essential human dignity of others.
• Do not argue and contradict. If a person a wrong, try to, make him see this for himself without telling him that he is wrong Remember the old song, in which two lover black eyes.’ were the reward “only for telling a man he was wrong.
• Do not bear grudges. If someone upsets you, go and tell him in a straightforward, friendly way and then forget it. Remember the words of William Penn, the great quack famous for his courageous and compassionate treatment of the American Pakistan’s: “One who forgives first, wins the day”
• Do not be jealous. Jealousy is a terrible emotion and very hard to overcome. I3ut t is a certain way to become unpopular.
• Avoid gossipy. it is a wise rule to speak only well of people in their absence, for everyone has some good points It is a better rule not to talk at all about people except in their presence. if others are gossiping, do not stay to hear it.
• Do not boast: Few people have anything to boast about, for anything you can do someone else can do better. Your achievements should speak for themselves.

• Give honest compliments. People like to hear praise when they have done something praiseworthy. When you are tested to boast, refer instead to some achievement of another.
• Respect the rights of others. The rights which you enjoy are not your sole privilege. Be prepared.
• Do not keep your friend waiting while you get things ready. If they are coming for a musical evening have the gramophone plugged in and the records all in order before they arrive.
• Keep your words. What ever you undertake to do, do it. You must not make promises lightly, but only when you can be sure of carrying them out.
• Be a good sport. You cannot have everything your own way. Accept cheerfully the wishes of others when they are different from your own. Smile at your setbacks.
• Watch your borrowings. Make a rule to borrow only when there is no other possible solution, and return what you borrow promptly.
• Be Cheerful. A ready smile is the best friend-maker you can have. It helps others to see that life is not so gloomy as some of them think.
• Be punctual. Get a reputation for always being in time, both in keeping appointment and in completing anything you undertake to do.

• How is your appearance? As general appearance matters a great deal, pay attention to your clothing and personal hygiene.
• Is your voice attractive? People often assess you by what they see of you and hear from you. Pay equal attention to your voice as to your appearance. Speak colourfully, melodiously and enthusiastically.
• Do you smile readily? A sore glum person is never charming; nor one who is always serious in his expression.
• Are you considerate? Your personality will be married if you wound the feelings of others, hurt their sensibility and annoy them by your behaviour or selfishness.
• Do you show appreciation? howing appreciation means giving credit to the people where and when it is due. Your appreciation must be honest and sincere, it should also come from the heart and not merely from the lips.
• How good are your conversational powers? Be neither dumb nor a bore. You must take effective and interesting part in a conversation. More than anything else you should be very good active listener.
• Are your manners perfect? Manners and etiquette are expected from you all the time. If you are lacking in them your personality will not be effective.
• Are you an optimist? If you want success, you must have an optimistic outlook in life. Personality Break-Up

The following factors play a dominant part in the development of a powerful personality.

• Knowledge is power and to know is to win. Knowledge gives you the necessary confidence. So one of the basic requirements is thorough knowledge in your special field as well as in general matters.
• Knowledge by itself will not be enough unless you have the capacity to communicate your thoughts in a forceful and convincing manner. Your ability to talk in an impressive way is, therefore, extremely important.
• Capacity to take a decision without hesitation is yet another important aspect of the personality structure
• Getting along with the people is also an equally important attribute. Fast and quick action and ability to take risks boldly are other important points.