Politeness has been well defined as’ benevolence in
trifles. Like benevolence on a larger scale. it include a felling in the mind
as well as the performance of those outward action by which that feeling is
manifested. ‘I he internal feeling, which is an essential part of the politeness,
is the same all over the world. However much its manifestations may differ. It
is the desire to put those whom we meet perfectly at their ease. And save them
from ever kind of petty discomfort and annoyance. Benevolence in its ordinary
sense implies love, of our fellow -men and a desire to do all we can to promote
their permanent happiness. The limited part of benevolence called politeness
required only an inclination to make them happy temporarily, while they are in
our presence, and when this can be done without any sacrifice on our part or
only with a slight sacrifice of personal comfort.
It is possible that politeness may be dissociated
from general excellence of character, as in the case of Charles II, who exhibited
his remarkable urbanity of manner even on his death-bed by apologizing for
being “ a most unconscionable time dying.” In certain cases there may even be a
conflict between politeness and ordinary benevolence. For instance, a doctor
may. By politely sacrificing his place in a conveyance to a lady, arrive late
at a sickbed where his presence is urgently required. In such cases, of course,
politeness should yield to the higher obligation.
The particular actions in which politeness is
manifested differ according to circumstances and according to the customs of different countries As long as society recognizes
distinctions in rank politeness requires us to show marks of respect to our
superiors, that are not expected in the presence of our equals and inferiors.
Different rules of behavior have to be observed according as we are in the
street or in the drawing-room at home or at school in company of friend or of
strangers. There is also to be considered the great diversity of social
etiquette which distinguishes one country from another a polite Frenchman in
his own country raises his hat to a shop-girl! When he enters a shop, but if he
did so in England he would be laughed at, and the object of his polite
attention would not improbably resent his conduct,
The difference in these matters is so great between
the east and the west, that it is very difficult for European and eastern to
meet in social intercourse without unintentionally offending one another. In
such circumstances a more liberal interpretation of the rule of politeness
requires a large amount of mutual indulgence.
Politeness besides being a duty that we owe to
other is a valuable possession for ourselves it costs nothing and yet may in many cases
bring much profit the great advantage of this excellence of conduct was very
clearly expressed by Dr. Johnson. When he said that the difference a
well-bred and ill-bred man is that one
immediately attracts your liking the other your aversion you love the one, he
observes till you find reason to hate him you hate the other till you find reason to love him. In this way, the
well-bred man has in his politeness what is equivalent to a valuable letter of introduction
that recommends him to everyone with whom he comes into contact.